The pressure for babies as soon as you hit your 30s
Good afternoon, gang. I'm writing my blog today in my new home whilst I wait for deliveries … the bed has finally arrived, so I'm moving in tonight. The delivery men were cricket fans, so they even fixed the bed for me if they could FaceTime Simon 😂 ! I am very excited about this new chapter and the new house. I will try to take pictures of the rooms before and after so you can see!
But right now, I want to talk about the pressure we ladies have getting into our 30s regarding having babies. Since I reached 35, the questions were no longer - Are you single? Instead, they became - Do you have children? When I turned 36, this was the first question fired at me overnight. I was still single then, so I really wanted the are you single question back instead. It made me think I was getting too old to live this party lifestyle (never too old, by the way). I'm an oversharer anyway, so I can handle this question fine. I never even knew if I wanted children. When I was young, 25 would be the perfect age, then as I approached 25, it became 30 and then 35 and so on. There is no suitable or ideal age; yes, our bodies don't work as well after 35, but I would never have mentally been ready beforehand. I barely looked after myself. Many people I know and some of my good friends have gone through many struggles when it comes to having babies. So I urge you to think twice before asking anyone you don't really know well as it is such a sensitive subject for some and can be all-consuming.
Society nowadays even judges you if you are thinking about babies after 40. Still, I don't see any issues as long as you can provide. Do it when you are ready. If you think you'll want babies eventually and are cracking on a bit, though… go freeze your eggs. Someone I know was going to do it at 38 but didn't have the money and was optimistic that they'd find a man by then - they reached 41 and realized it was time to do it and have now been told she has no eggs to freeze. This is not the case for everyone, but if you are reading this and thinking about it… let it be your sign to get things moving.
Even when I'm around my best friends, I'm not sure whether to talk about the topic because some of them can't get pregnant, some have had many miscarriages, some have had failed IVF (and this is from the ones willing to share). I'm sure there is more behind the scenes that I'm unaware of. Conversely, some have had success - a friend reaching early menopause and then having babies, so there is always hope. Still, it won't happen for everyone, and that is life, unfortunately… make the most of what you have, but by all means, keep trying for what you want.
Ironically, you spend most of your life trying not to get pregnant (well, this was the case for me anyway), and then suddenly, when you change your mind, you become impatient. I finally feel ready to have babies. I have never once in my life felt prepared to be till now. It's a shame I have an old man as a boyfriend, hahaha. I'm only joking. Let's see, he has a few years left in him. If it can't happen, I will find a way to make peace with it because Simon is the best thing ever to me.
xBx
P.S. I'll always be everybody's favourite Auntie Bee 🐝